SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers from the Season 5, Episode 4 episode of “Yellowstone,” “Horses in Heaven,” which premiered Sunday, Nov. 27 on Paramount Network.

Ah, the holidays. That time of year where you see your family and think, “Why am I not bequeathed an enormous ranch?” and “How can I tear down my siblings in order to build an empire?” At least those are the average thoughts of a “Yellowstone” superfan. Although your family might not be as gorgeous or mean or drunk as the Duttons, I still hope you had a helluva Thanksgiving.

But enough sincere reflection! Let’s wind up our beer bottles and dive into this week’s episode, which opens the morning after Beth (Kelly Reilly) had her bar brawl.

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  • Welcome to everyone’s favorite spinoff, “Beth Behind Bars.”
  • “Some bitch from California tried to fuck my husband so I beat her with a beer bottle.” “So you’re, like, a fucking criminal.” “I am a wrath of a woman scorned — call it what you will.” Great back and forth, but we’ll probably still call you a criminal, Beth!
  • The best acting in this episode so far is courtesy of Wes Bentley, whose shit-eating grin as Jamie rescues Beth from jail is peak smug.
  • Beth, is insulting Jamie really going to inspire him to get you out of jail quicker? What’s your play here?
  • If John (Kevin Costner) actually had to attend the Montana Educators Luncheon, what would he even talk about? Sorry, youth of Montana — you are definitely not a Dutton priority.
  • One look at Stanley Roberts (Emil Beheshti) and his plan to lease land to a solar farm proves that he’s the wrong chief policy advisor for John.
  • “You’re all fired.” Well, that solves it!
  • Doesn’t U.S. Fish and Wildlife need more proof in order to accuse the governor’s cowboys of killing the wolves? I mean…they did, but that’s besides the point!
  • Lilli Kay is doing some great work as Clara Brewer, John’s new assistant. They’re a bit of an odd couple, but she seems to have jumped on his no-bullshit train quickly, and they have good, snappy banter.
  • Jamie may be a sneaky snake, but he sure is great at legal shenanigans. It was tough seeing Hailey Brewer (Ashley Platz) so instantly dismayed at getting duped by the legal system, but equally nice to see him getting a win after losing so much.
  • I’m not crying about all of these good men digging graves…you’re crying.
  • Finally, Senator Lynelle Perry (Wendy Moniz) tells John to buck up, do his job and stop whining in a way he can hear. It was amusing to see him at the start of the season as the governor who doesn’t want to govern, but it was getting a bit inert for his character. Stir some shit up!
  • It’s fun to imagine that every time Beth sits in a car she immediately starts throwing things around, hitting the driver in the head with file folders in the process.
  • Oof, what an emotional outburst from Beth. I’m glad she didn’t kill both of them by causing Jamie to flip over the SUV, but it’s easy to understand why she hates him so much at that moment.
  • “I’m going to rob you of fatherhood, Jamie.” Yikes, what a frightening line, even from Beth.
  • Reilly and Bentley are both serving some great panic attack and scream acting this episode.
  • OK…who thought Jamie was going to hit Beth with his car?
  • Big laugh as this horny truck driver pretends to care about the “additional challenges” of the criminal justice system while trying to pick up Beth.
  • What a beautiful, sad funeral, including a great quiet moment between John and a grieving Monica (Kelsey Asbille).
  • Sometimes during these extended cowboy sequences, all I can think about is how hard it seems to run a ranch. Not the life for me!
  • As someone who once burned his hand on a super-hot skillet, I empathize with this calf getting a painful brand.
  • Real-world inflation has apparently hit the “Yellowstone” universe.
  • This is a great twist! John springing ex-lover / hippie Summer Higgins (Piper Perabo) out of jail in order to make her the head of his environmental policy is an inspired move. Plus it’s going to annoy Beth and cause a weird love triangle with Lynelle. Drama!
  • Summer and John will absolutely have sex, guaranteed. I give it two episodes max.
  • Sarah Atwood (Dawn Olivieri) is laying her sexy voice routine on so thick…how does Jamie not see right through it?
  • How did Jamie not notice Beth at the bar? She’s not exactly subtle…
  • I know Beth was gathering clues, but couldn’t she have hurried up and not listened to her brother having sex for such a long time?
  • Uh oh, who IS Sarah Atwood? Mystery!
  • Beth, just let your father have a sex friend. It’s not the end of the world.
  • Beth’s problem boozing continues — could a trip to rehab be around the corner?

See you next Sunday night!

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